Today... Was a weird day actually a weird afternoon. I had a gym date with my mom after work, we met there. I was happy that's my 3rd day at the gym this week. I did my hour of cardio and was pretty proud of me because I made 8km in an hour.
After my sunbath session (lol) I went to take a shower. My mom came around and she saw me naked for the first time in a long time. The look on her face said it all and then she said it "what happened to you? Omg u really have to lose weight"
Yes it broke my heart, especially cuz I was already feeling a tiny better, but that all of sudden killed me. I told her I know I'm looking horrible and I'm very fat. She already knew my mood had changed in a second. Anyways we started an argument about it how I've changed the last few months. She told me I'm letting myself go and I should get my shit together and do something. I started to cry and cry and cry and all I was avoiding this time all this sadness, frustration, bitterness came out.
I told her how I'm feeling and that I'm away or M.I.A because all of the dea in my head.
I'm very very sad because of my work place. I would accept that they told me they don't want me because I don't fit in the team or something. Instead they told me I'm unable to build relationships with the kids. Is like telling me I suck at my work. And it is not absolutely not true, it hurt me more than I admitted. I also told her how I think of myself and she told me the same Vero ( my bestow) told me. I'm self destructive... To be continued
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